she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
