if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
