i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
