She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
