There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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