Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
