I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Randomize
