Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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