Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just blew my weed a kiss
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
