I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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