I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
