toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
