You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
not ubering you a puppy
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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