Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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