bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
