just come out here and I will go home with you...
He felt like a one man threesome
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
