what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Damn victory sex feels great
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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