Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
