Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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