Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm like, not good at living.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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