Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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