What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
