I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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