this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
