walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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