Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ass is underappreciated
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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