she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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