That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I enjoy the company of your penis
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