If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
