I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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