Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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