Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
