I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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