i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
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