Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
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I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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