When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
