I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
