college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
