If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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