ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
