New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
