Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
