I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
