he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
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My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize