I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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