Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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