why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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