I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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