whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
