You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
