Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize