If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
