Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
