At least make sure they are 18
Why
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize