He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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