I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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