Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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