Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
