No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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