we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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