when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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